We have a four-month old kitten. That’s her above.
Last night, we were watching her run around and musing about how good it would be to be a cat, if not just for one day.
During a currently busy, stressful, monotonous period in our lives, her life seemed idyllic.
She does nothing all day but lay around and play and bite things and eat and lay around some more.
What appealed to us wasn’t necessarily being a cat. Eating the same kind of food each day and licking your butt didn’t shout living the dream.
It was the freedom from the monotonous routine of work, chores, repeat.
Being stuck in any cycle of behavior for a while, no matter how much you love what you do, can make it feel like a drag.
You can begin to think the problem is your job, your limited productivity, your spouse, your city, your kids, or yourself.
When really, you just need a break from the robotic, automatic rhythms of routine.
To be an animal for a day.
To be human.
The modern-day obsession with work and performance is sickening.
One click on the news or swipe of social media and you’re instantly reminded of all the ways in which you’re not performing to your full potential and being your best self.
This can in a blink turn a relaxing day off work into a guilt-ridden few hours of pretending to relax but really feeling miserable and then desperately trying to be productive and feel better about yourself.
When I woke up this morning and thought about what to write for the newsletter today, I had a bunch of interesting ideas.
But then I looked at the cat and thought, do I really want to write, or, do I just feel the need to be productive and busy so that I won’t feel guilty for having done nothing at the end of the day?
…At the end of my life?
I knew I could sit for the next few hours or years and write about interesting topics and feel pleased with myself and like I’m worth something to the world.
I didn’t know if I could stop and take the day off, take more time off, and still feel like I was worth something, anything, to the world.
Hmm…
When looking from within the daily rush of ticking off to-dos, meeting deadlines, hitting targets, achieving goals, improving metrics, and continually making progress, it’s hard to make sense of rest, play, doing nothing, and being wholly unproductive.
Keeping busy at all costs is the only way to feel purposeful and make sense of life.
But in those animal-like moments of running through the forest, rolling on the floor with the kids, cooking an ugly cake, and reading a silly fiction novel, nothing else makes sense.
It often takes zooming out and seeing the bigger picture to remember the true value of these moments.
You may have noticed that I did end up writing today. But not out of some automatic drive to produce and feel productive.
Rather as a reminder, if not only for myself, that at the end of my life, which could happen today or tomorrow, I won’t give a shit about how many articles I wrote, how many goals I hit, or how much money I accumulated in the bank.
I will care only for the immeasurable moments in which I wasn’t striving to get to some other place or achieve some particular outcome, but in which I was solely being alive.
The more immeasurable moments we have, the more alive we feel.
The more alive we feel, the less we believe our value is dependent on whatever we happen to produce or achieve in any given day.
Ari the cat is as content as pie because she doesn’t need to prove anything whatsoever.
She knows she is inherently valuable just as she is.
You’ll never see her on Instagram flaunting her private parts to try and show her worth or on LinkedIn explaining to everyone why she’s a success.
So, if you would please excuse me, I’m going to sit in a park, maybe read a few pages in my book, but mostly just pick my nose and stare at the sky.
And not for one second am I going to feel even a tinge of guilt about all the things I could or should be doing—and if I do, I will swiftly remind myself what matters most in this limited life.
I hope you do the same.
Hugs,
Joe
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